Proverbs 31 stresses me out.

PROVERBS 31 (click title to hear song)

I'm really exhausted.  I just thought I would find some scripture to sing because I just have nothing to say right now.

And I opened up Proverbs 31 and didn't really read it over.  I just started to sing.  I found myself weeping by the end and I wondered why.

Perhaps my own shame and feelings of failure as a wife.  Perhaps the striving of women with so many more demands on us now than have ever been in the past.  We have this standard that we are always reaching towards.

More women feel guilty than ever before.  More women are working. More women are exhausted, burned out, on medication for depression or trouble sleeping. They say maintaining a household is a full time 40 hour a week job and then some women are also working on top of that creating the equivalent of 2 full time jobs.  Luckily there are many men who have stepped up in the homes to contribute more which is helpful for women.

Who can find a virtuous wife?  Well some men certainly have.  I can think of lots of amazing wives out there.

I've never tried harder at anything in my life than I did at being a successful wife.  I realize now in hind sight that the whole thing is subjective.  It didn't feel that way at the time.

I'm not a wife now. But still I look to this character from the end of a book of the bible that haunts me and makes me feel like I still have to do more.  She makes me feel like I am never quite enough.  Get up before it's even light out, works with wool and flax, she's shipping in food. She's providing for her family AND her female servants (might be nice to have a few of those around though for the busy days) Oh and ps - I bought a field today and had a bit of time in the afternoon so I planted a vineyard.  I went to the gym cause I'm supposed to have strong arms for this vigorous work.  On the way home she is trading who knows what with who knows who.  And you know why her lamp does not go out?  I'll tell you why!  Because she fell asleep reading!

But wait it doesn't stop there.  (No kidding her husband had full confidence in her!  Heck so do I!  Can she be my mom?!)  As if she hasn't quite done enough, she opens her arms to the poor and extends herself to the needy.  And I know some of you must be worried about winter but not her!  She has no fear cause she has clothed everyone in scarlet (?????)   She didn't just go out to Target for new sheets for her bed, she MADE the bed coverings.  And hey let's face it, she dresses well and she night as well!   I mean she is making clothes on the weekends and selling them so she might as well wear her own products.  It's good for sales!

I'm stressed out just thinking about it but not her! Oh no!  She LAUGHS at the days to come!  And she drinks how many coffees a day?  Thank God her kids like her!  And no kidding she is wise.  you couldn't pull of that kind of life without some serious wisdom.

And her husband high fives her when he comes in at the end of the day and is like "dang! you're incredible!"

She is intimidating no doubt.  

Who can find her?  She is everywhere.  She is in all the women I know.  She is the heart of woman.  She is at the doctors office with her kids, doing the grade 4 homework project that is way over her kids head.
She is racing from work to the soccer game when she remembers that it's her day for oranges so she races in and grabs them on her way.
She sits in political offices fighting for change in nations.
She owns a coffee shop down on Victoria street where she makes home made soup each day that packs the place out.
She is in the gym at 5:00 am... no wait... 6 am?  K maybe 6:30 if she's lucky at least let's say 3 times a week. (she's working on that)
She is laying down beside her daughter before bed listening to her daughter read.
She is meeting with the financial consultant to plan for the future.
She is everywhere.  Who can find her?  I dare say that if you're a woman, then you are her and if you are a man, then you know her.


So as much as we are tempted to feel guilt and shame in our journey of womanhood, I think there is room today to put up our feet, pat ourselves on the back and say we're doing a good job!