Different looks on love

MY SUNSHINE

I created this through observations of different people.  I tried to make them each slightly extreme and I'm sure that most people will find themselves a combo of each.  But I would really love to hear people's thoughts on this.

	PROFILE #1	PROFILE #2
Where it starts?  The preconceived dream	There is no preconceived ideal for this person.  She carries no ideal around looking for a person who fits her dream.  Rather, she accepts individuals for who they are and when she loves, it is merely a byproduct to the appreciation of the qualities of the person she meets.  These women are not looking for love specifically.  Love may come as a result of knowing a person but the primary focus is not the feelings, rather the individual.	Love with expectation starts before the person being loved is even met.  For example, young girls dream of growing up to marry and have children.  They dream about what their husband will be like and how she will be treated.    This immediately sets up a love with expectation because without realizing, the woman has created a subconscious template and looks for a suitable fit for her already conceived idea. Some women go as far as to make lists of traits they want and pull out their check list when they meet a person to be sure he fits what she wants. This woman STARTS OUT with an idea of what she wants.  Though the thought may be offensive, in essence, she already has a certain level of "love" for a person she hasn't even met. These women are looking for love.
Expectations	With no list to fulfill, this woman can more freely accept individuals for who they are and don't feel the need to change them.  Expectation is low if existing at all.  They feel that a person will give what they want to give and to ask for anything more is selfish.	The preconceived ideal creates expectation.  The woman wants and expects the relationship to be a certain way.  She feels that relationships by their definition allow for expectations.   Her check list needs to be met. For example, she would expect that a true friend would respond to her in a certain way.  That's not an expectation she would have on an acquaintance.  She would have a different expectation on a romantic relationship.   Her expectations are defined by societies definition and her own personal definition of that relationship.
Changing for someone	This person accepts people without the desire to change them.  When accepting someone, they accept both their strengths and their weaknesses.  They take responsibility for their own emotions and don't ask someone else to accommodate them.   In turn, they feel the freedom to be themselves and not have to receive burdens laid on them by another person.   They view change in 2 types of ways: 1. The transferring of burdens from other people which is viewed as selfish. 2.  Identifying a problem and correcting it.  They would not require a person to change in order to create happiness for themselves. Bottom line, they don't expect someone to change to make them happy because they are responsible for their own happiness.	Change and compromise is very important to this person.  They value working together as 2 people to satisfy each other's needs.   They feel relationships are give and take and that depending on that relationship's definition, change is part of working together as one unit.  The negative side to this is that one person can be demanding change when the other is not wanting to give it.  This person feels that the person they love is somewhat responsible for their happiness.  When they don't feel fulfilled, they begin to require change.
Betrayal	For this person, to sin against love is to betray the other person and also themselves.  They take full responsibility for how they feel.  They do not expect the other person to be responsible in any way.  They are satisfied in loving, not being loved.  Because this person is taking 100% responsibility for their emotions, they would view betraying love as betraying something that they are responsible for.  Therefore, to sin against love is to sin against themselves as well as the other person.	For this person, to sin against love is to sin against not only a person but the ideal itself.  In some ways, the ideal, the list, becomes a "person" it itself.  When the list is not being filled properly, this person has internal conflict because they are betraying what they view as their values.  In essence, they are betraying that "person" or idea.  The person becomes as loyal to their ideal as they are to the actual person.
Disappointment	Disappointment is also low because without expectation there can be little disappointment.  The person is free to appreciate what they are given and treat it like a gift that was not owed to them.  When that gift is not there, they don't suffer disappointment because they never expected it in the first place.	Because the woman has made her list and checked it twice, she suffers a great deal of disappointment when the man does things that are not on her list.  From there she feels the need to change him though she probably wouldn't admit it.  Or in other words, she feels the need to control him.   There is a constant clash between her reality and this ever present ideal that she has created for herself. This can happen in parenting as well.  A woman who has a deep preconceived ideal of parenthood can often be disappointed when the reality of it hits.  Then she suffers feeling guilty because if she is really honest, she feels disappointed in reality.

If you wouldn't mind, could you click back on facebook and make your comments?  I'm really curious.