Thankful for life

Went for a run late this afternoon.  It was my first holiday without my kids and I was doing my best to distract myself so I didn't bawl my eyes out.  Part of my distraction was to do a 10K run.  I injured my ankle trying to learn to snowboard 2 months ago and there's still quite a bit of pain so I wasn't sure I was ready to run.

Spring has just hit and it was so beautifully sunny.  I was overlooking the city for the first part and as I came up the first hill I realized that my ankle wasn't quite where I needed it to be.  I tried a few different positions and what felt best for the uphill portion was to run on my toes.  Ok! Not ideal but it would work.

I was listening to my indie playlist and it was shuffling between Bon Iver, Angus and Julia Stone, Okkervil River, Decemberists, The Avett Brothers, Arcade Fire and Fleetwood mac (don't judge me :)

A song came on that I didn't recognize at first.  I had bought it during a 7 hour lay over in the London airport and had forgotten about it.  it was called The Garden and it was by Joshua James.
(lyrics http://www.maxilyrics.com/joshua-james-the-garden-lyrics-6caf.html)  It's the story of a mother who dies from cancer.  Suddenly I started to feel really thankful for life.

I was running along the side walk and there were kids playing basket ball in a drive way, the smell of a barbecue, the long line of artwork done by side walk chalk that probably entertained someone's kids for hours earlier that day.  My "distraction run" was making me miss my kids all the more.

The sun was shining right in my eyes and so I kept my head down for the most part.

You know how when the sun is directly behind something, you can't really see what it is, and it's like beams of light kind of come off the object blocking it?  Well I lifted my eyes up and there was girl on a bike coming down the street slowly towards me.  I could see she had a pink shirt on but the sun behind her was so bright that it took a minute for my eyes to adjust.

She got a little closer and with the lyrics playing in my ears, I focused in to see that she was completely bald.  Clearly fighting cancer.  She didn't peddle her bike but steered it back and forth from one side of the road to the next.  It was surreal and I found myself wondering what her story was. Thought about how happy she must have felt to just be able to ride her bike and celebrate Easter.  Or how happy her parents must feel, how thankful.

Maybe I didn't have my kids for Easter weekend.  And was it hard?  Yeah it really was.  But this week I'm gonna hold my healthy babies in my arms, kiss them and tell them to hurry up and finish their breakfast so we can get to school.  I'm gonna tell them to clean their rooms again.  I'm gonna drive 6 hours to Prince George to take my daughter to Provincials for gymnastics and then drive 10 hours to Surrey for a soccer tournament.  I get to celebrate life with my kids, watching them grow and do the things they love.

That little girl coming down the hill in the sun beams made me thankful for what I have rather than grieving what I don't.

She made me thankful for life.